Just a note...: Das Leben ist kurz. Also küsse langsam, Liebe viel, Lache laut, gib Dummheiten zu und bereu nichts was dich lächeln ließ
My life never settled, my life never slowed down too much, but whenever things are getting a bit calmer, some new challenge appears to fill that space and move me forward.
Meeting my partner in Sweden was one of these occasions. After months when I didn't have time to sit down, when I didn't do anything else than solving my immediate troubles, I went for a week to Sweden to a winter school. I had terrible flu, even had to pay a taxi to get to the airport, because I honestly couldn't walk with my backpack more than few meters. But I knew that I have to go. Leaving my kids with my parents at home, I had to do something else for few days than thinking about my desperateness. And in that state I came to Sweden, slowly finding out who I used to be, starting to enjoy seconds and moments, walks and talks and forgetting about everything which was left for that week behind me. Uncovering that under mum is still a human with thoughts, wishes, hobbies and most importantly, someone, who has a right to enjoy moments just for herself. And among those people I talked the most to him. I didn't expect anything from our friendship, but as days went on, talks changed to visits and visits to vacations and after 2 years, to common life.
Moving was another hurry, which we had to somehow manage in between of normal life which didn't stop for those months. But it happened. Week passing week, we slowly learned how to live with each other, how to understand bad and good moods which are coming and passing as they want. Invisibly, everything started to be a bit more predictable and easier. Time for another change?
Yeah...and that is when the small one was created. From love and smiles, being not sure what it will do with our life, it is here. Something small growing. And when it kicks me and I simply have to smile, I know that we decided for a good thing. Maybe we have enough people on this world, maybe the future of humanity is unsure, maybe we would enjoy some things more without another small kid which we will have to take care about full-time, maybe (no, not maybe, for sure), there will be again many super tough moments, maybe... I know all those arguments, but they are forgotten when I feel it moving, when my older daughter always kisses my belly and looks so much forward to have another sibling, when my partner smiles when he touches my belly, knowing that someone inside is waiting to come out and explore this world. When we all play together, hug each other and feel good...
Meeting my partner in Sweden was one of these occasions. After months when I didn't have time to sit down, when I didn't do anything else than solving my immediate troubles, I went for a week to Sweden to a winter school. I had terrible flu, even had to pay a taxi to get to the airport, because I honestly couldn't walk with my backpack more than few meters. But I knew that I have to go. Leaving my kids with my parents at home, I had to do something else for few days than thinking about my desperateness. And in that state I came to Sweden, slowly finding out who I used to be, starting to enjoy seconds and moments, walks and talks and forgetting about everything which was left for that week behind me. Uncovering that under mum is still a human with thoughts, wishes, hobbies and most importantly, someone, who has a right to enjoy moments just for herself. And among those people I talked the most to him. I didn't expect anything from our friendship, but as days went on, talks changed to visits and visits to vacations and after 2 years, to common life.
Moving was another hurry, which we had to somehow manage in between of normal life which didn't stop for those months. But it happened. Week passing week, we slowly learned how to live with each other, how to understand bad and good moods which are coming and passing as they want. Invisibly, everything started to be a bit more predictable and easier. Time for another change?
Yeah...and that is when the small one was created. From love and smiles, being not sure what it will do with our life, it is here. Something small growing. And when it kicks me and I simply have to smile, I know that we decided for a good thing. Maybe we have enough people on this world, maybe the future of humanity is unsure, maybe we would enjoy some things more without another small kid which we will have to take care about full-time, maybe (no, not maybe, for sure), there will be again many super tough moments, maybe... I know all those arguments, but they are forgotten when I feel it moving, when my older daughter always kisses my belly and looks so much forward to have another sibling, when my partner smiles when he touches my belly, knowing that someone inside is waiting to come out and explore this world. When we all play together, hug each other and feel good...
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